I’ve had deployments I’ve been raring to go for, and I’ve felt less than positive about others. But I’ve simply gone and with commitment, the entire operation worked out.
What I have never done is what SSgt Judy Groomes (Air Force) did: she allegedly asked her husband SSgt Christopher Tyquan Groomes to shoot her. Apparently with one shot, the bullet injured both her legs. I am guessing it was graze, after all Judy probably did not want to maim herself.