Co-opoly, The Collectivist Board Game


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So there it is.  The Anti-Monopoly board game.  I can’t say as I am surprised, but I just can’t see kids running out to play a board game that shows all of the exciting aspects of cooperative management and the joy of overpaying to purchase Fair Trade coffee from a three hundred million dollar company that uses a Guatemalan farmer for a logo.

I suppose squeezing Marvin Gardens out of your brother because he landed on Board Walk while the paint on your hotel was still fresh and he couldn’t afford the rent is now strictly verboten.    Evil, evil Parker Brothers.   The 1% is reviled, even if the money is pink and blue and yellow and lime-green.

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There should be a special level of hell for parents who give their kids Mummenschanz puppets when they ask for a cap gun, or who proudly display the “Participant Trophy” when the kid finishes next to last in the sack race at the school picnic.  (Front and center on the shelf where the “You’re really something!” certificate lives because Junior didn’t manage to actually WIN anything but needed an award to preserve the all-important self-esteem.)  Or who buy their kids this game.

One has to wonder, in this Co-opoly game, if every card is a “Community Chest”, and when the bank runs out of money, there is a provision to go and print a bunch more.   Which makes the money in the game less valuable to all the players.   The little board pieces?  A Sherpa hat, a little Subaru Outback, perhaps.  A Birkenstock sandal.  You get the idea.

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“Where everyone wins, or everyone loses.”   I doubt the board game makes mention that, in reality, when you are forced to be lumped in with “everyone”, there is no winning, only losing.  Or that the enforcement of collective responsibility (and collective guilt) is entirely antithetical to individual freedom.   But hey, grab your Fair Trade coffee and an organic bran muffin, pull up a wicker chair, turn the thermostat up to 58 and have fun.   And remember, we are all winners for trying.   Except in the real world.

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27 Comments

Filed under Humor, Politics, stupid, Uncategorized

27 responses to “Co-opoly, The Collectivist Board Game

  1. Mummenschanz?? I haven’t heard that term in decades. They used to creep me out.

    As does this game, frankly.

  2. rik

    I thought this was a joke at first… until I did a search for it. Unfreakinbelievable. And so many people seem to think this a good thing.

  3. David Navarre

    Do they give away copies of the game for free? After all, they didn’t build that….

  4. David Navarre

    I had a look at the rules and, if any player goes bankrupt, everyone loses. I’m guessing that if 47% of the players put in no effort whatsoever, it might be instructive to the game designers in how reality works.

  5. Does anybody understand what the point of the Sherpa hats are? The Subaru at least I can understand, they d make sturdy beasts, but the Sherpa and Inca hats are a mystery to me, when a good old watch cap does the job just spiffy.

    • ultimaratioregis

      Yes, Mister Badger, wearing a watch cap is fine, but you don’t LOOK like you empathize with an oppressed people you never met. And isn’t that the real meaning of fashion? The Che Guevara t-shirts for $32.00 a pop. Like, ironic, dude.

    • scottthebadger

      I can see your point about the importance of making a fashion statement, but here in Wisconsin in January, I am more interested in keeping warm! I have to find where i put my electric sox.

      The allure of Che baffles me. Why would a murdering psychopath be revered by anyone, much less be lionized by people who claim to care about the ‘rights’ of others. Don’t they realize that they would be among his victims, not his friends? We really do live in a truly screwed up culture.

    • electric Sox?

      Mine would kill me if I tried to plug him in.

    • I love the way the Bolivians honored Che’s rights. Just like Che honored all those people that went to the wall in Havana.

      I like games where the games ends with “I win, you lose. nya, nya, nya, nya, nya, nya.” Co-opoly will never go through my front door.

  6. scottthebadger

    Are Farmer’s Co-Ops still popular outside of the Upper Midwest? In the town I used to live in, the Coop was just down the block from the John Deere dealer. They always had good prices on hand tools. That is where I would go every few years to get a new grain scoop, the ultimate snow shovel. I would have to replace them because I was too cheap to buy the almost indestructable aluminum one, at $30.00, and would go with the $12.00 plastic one, which would eventually crack.
    http://www.acehardware.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3495129&cagpspn=pla

    I always had a grain scoop on my John Deere utility tractor, because there were places one just couldn’t get to with the end loader bucket.

    • Used to have them in middle Tennessee. I assume they still do. My father shopped there often when he needed stuff for the homestead. Never saw one in SE Ohio for some reason. Surprising given how big farming was down there.

    • ultimaratioregis

      Just to be clear, these are grocery co-ops. They buy high-end organic and “earth friendly” foods, few of which taste like anything except cardboard, and charge three prices for them. The one at the bottom of the hill is convenient for milk and bread and occasional produce. But most of the hoi polloi lefties feel good about themselves buying all the other crap.

  7. scottthebadger

    A question for you, URR, as a Vermonter! I listen to a language quiz program on Wisconsin Public Radio every Sunday morning, called Says You!. This week, they were doing a remote broadcast from a resort in Vermont, on Lake Champlaign. At the end of the remote broadcasts, they like to read a silly law from the state that thye show is coming from. Hence, i know that, at least according to Says You! , it’s illlegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole in Vermont. How do they expect you to secure your giraffe after you ride it to town?

  8. M1A1TrkTrror

    After we all “win,” can I institute a purge of the other players on the council, denounce my enemies at traitors to the co-operative, execute a few million, imprison tens of millions, and consolidate all power into my own hands?

    That is how this games ends out, right?

  9. LT Rusty

    I’d be okay playing with a Subaru game piece, so long as it was one with a turbo.

    • ultimaratioregis

      Sorry, Rusty, no turbo. But it does have a “hate is not a family value” bumper sticker. Next to the “Wage Peace” window decal.

    • I find it curious that the people who have that bumper sticker are the ones most likely to be filled with hate. It’s almost like being a leftist is a license to hate, and still feel superior to the rest of us. I have a sister that is a Progressive, and condescension is the only mode she has of dealing with others who don’t think as she does.

    • LT Rusty

      Oh hell naw then.

      I’d rock an Outback or Forester XT with my NRA Life Member sticker in the back window, though. Used to have that on my old Volvo station wagon. Should have seen the looks I’d get out here in CA … *giggle*

  10. Obama is a liar

    There are hundreds of co-operative businesses right here in the US. They are an extremely viable and profitable business structure.

    • ultimaratioregis

      But if they go bankrupt do they take the rest of us with them?

    • Obama is a liar

      Um. A co-op is when you don’t have a boss. Instead, every one is there own boss. It’s just democracy applied to business. So yeah, if a co-op goes bankrupt, the people who work for it go down, just like any other business.

    • There’s nothing inherently wrong with a co-op. As long as it’s a voluntarily entered into arrangement. But there are always people that preen that it is somehow morally superior form of business than say, an LLC or a corporation. I get tired of the smugness of my supposed betters.

    • Is that “as opposed to my actual betters?” But then, the actual betters don’t act like that.

  11. The Farmer’s Coop my father used to belong to had two prices, one for the members and another for the rest of the hairy unwashed who were too good to join.

    Seriously, Farmer’s Coops existed long before the Progtards thought they would be a great idea. They’re pretty late comers to the party.