Paella


So, this week’s food thread at Ace’s place features the tasty Spanish mainstay paella.

Many, many moons ago, my Dear Sainted Mother made a wonderful dish of paella for a small dinner party. And it was wonderful. It tasted like pure joy. It was a very, very memorable evening.

http://img4-2.myrecipes.timeinc.net/i/recipes/ay/11/06/chicken-paella-ay-l.jpg

And because that evening was so memorable, just about every time I managed to come home on leave from the Army, Dear Sainted Mother would carefully, and lovingly recreate that dish with the rice so richly infused with that most expensive of spices, saffron. And as a Loving Son, I would dutifully eat every bit served to me.

See, there’s a reason that first service of paella was so memorable. It turns out of all the multitudes of foods in the world, the only thing I’m apparently allergic to is saffron. Within an hour of eating paella that first time, I was laid low by the most horrific pains and gastrointestinal unpleasantness.

Dear Sainted Mother’s memory somehow managed to remember that paella was significant, but failed to recall that “significant” does not always mean “good.”

And so, being the dutiful Loving Son, I would eat what was served, and again find myself tormented by that golden spice, saffron.

Eventually, I took to writing home to remind DSM that paella, lovely and tasty as it was, would eventually overcome my considerable constitution, and kill me dead. And that if she wanted to achieve that, there were less painful, less expensive alternatives.

Too bad. As it really does taste great.

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4 Comments

Filed under Humor, Personal

4 responses to “Paella

  1. You can do 1/8 tsp tumeric with 1/2 tsp sweet Hungarian paprika to substitute for 1/4 tsp ground saffron.

    Keep in mind tumeric is from the ginger family and won’t have the savory taste of saffron, but if you infuse it in white wine first, it does tend to be a good substitute.

    /recipe blog

  2. ultimaratioregis

    Am I to conclude that Dear Sainted Mother is once again being spoken to, after said DSM failed to provide intel on the B-29?

  3. There is no substitute for saffron. I have a major golden monkey on my back. My dealer supplier, an Indian explain I should put a touch behind each ears to let the gals know I was rich and available, even tho I’m not and in no way.