WASHINGTON, D.C. — Troops from the Army, Navy, Marine Corps, and Air Force told Congress on Wednesday that general officers were willing to sacrifice portions of their caviar rations, personal assistants, limousine drivers, and golf courses if it meant improving training and equipment needed for the rest of the military.
“We feel these cuts will provide us with the right training and equipment,” said Marine Lance Cpl. Eric Smaltz. “We’ll be able to improve our quality of life through more suicide awareness training, sexual assault classes, and motorcycle safety. Basically anything that involves PowerPoint is what we’re looking for. It’s why we signed up after all.”
1. One of my fellow recruiters was a cook who had served a tour as an orderly to a General Officer. As an aside, he was a stunningly good cook.
2. When my dad took command of an air station, he had a staff car and driver, and a Filippino Mess Steward assigned, complete with attached quarters at our on base housing. About 3 months later, President Carter said no to good deals like that.
Of course, a major part of dad’s duties was schmoozing the local population, to keep good relations, and the steward wasn’t there to act as a butler, but to help plan and serve the steady stream of parties dad hosted. When the steward went away, mom had to pick up the slack. Which, of course, she did with aplomb.