H/T Melissa N
Category Archives: Humor
From College Humor.
H/T Becky on FB
Our dear friend Boston Maggie damn near made me spit coffee this morning with her outrage at the ignorance of the contestants. She is all about the Revolutionary War, having lived most of her life amidst the historical geography of Boston. So when she gets the category of “American Revolutionaries” she is guaranteed to be all but crawling through the television screen. Of course, she calls it “Jeppidy”, but she excels at it. No surprise, with her quick wit and impressive intellect. Mixed with the educational boot camp of Catholic school.
And she is, of course, correct. Jeppidy contestants are sposta be smaaaahht. Smart enough to know George Washington wasn’t in the Navy, for cryin’ out loud.
But what happens when the category is “Civil War”? Or “Mayberry”? “Who is…. Mayor Pike”?
This is Johnny Gilbert speaking….
Oh good Lordy. From our laugh-till-you-cry funny friends at The Duffel Blog.
BEIJING, China — According to Chinese news agencies, the head of a People’s Liberation Army unit of military hackers is planning to file a formal complaint today with the United States Department of Defense after a number of what were called “disturbing” conversations with “American military perverts.”
Senior Colonel Bo Wang of the People’s Glorious Facebook Battalion is one of thousands of Chinese military personnel who spend all-day attempting to infiltrate the social media profiles of US military and intelligence personnel with fake accounts.
Once a target is identified, the hacker will create a false profile, usually of an attractive member of the opposite sex, and ‘friend’ the target. Over time, a successful hacker can friend almost an entire unit and learn valuable information about military or intelligence plans.
The problem, as Colonel Wang soon found out, is that the majority of his targets are young American servicemen, most of whom only agree to friend requests because they expect sexual favors at some point.
The rest is definitely not safe for work. Or most anything else. But jee-ZUS is it funny!
Huh. I could see this being protocol for an op-check AFTER the transplant…. The Smoking Gun gives us the details.
A female nurse “initiated unsolicited sexual relations, including intercourse” with a hospitalized Illinois man who was awaiting a heart transplant, according to a lawsuit filed Monday
Cantone, whose wife Laura is co-plaintiff in the lawsuit, charges that Shaper “had a propensity to initiate unauthorized physical contact with patients.” The nurse, he added, “had attempted and/or succeeded” in initiating similar contact with other patients in her care.
One has to wonder if this is covered by Obamacare. And where the hell was she when I had to go in for my kidney stone?
I cannot say it surprises me that wife Laura is a co-plaintiff. Sorta gives a new meaning to “bedside manner”, though. I wonder if the VA is hiring?
I just finished “The Weed Agency” by National Review’s Jim Geraghty. It’s the 30-year story of a fictional agency created by Jimmy Carter and the true attempts over the years to cut spending. Sure, the Democrats are tax-and-spend, but the Republicans are only too willing to blink first in the budget battles. While it’s a little frustrating to read, knowing there’s billions of dollars wasted in the federal gov’t, there’s enough funny bits to keep you turning the pages.
The part that hit home for me was the young go-get-’em employees bogged down in red tape and “It’s not my idea, so I don’t like it” attitudes, especially the part about setting up a website. My group set up its own website in the 90′s to show off our unique capabilities and try to bring in outside business. This was soon followed by, “You can’t do that, we need all our websites to look the same.” Okay, uniform website coming up. This was followed by, “You can’t do that, it’s not 508 compliant.” Okay, we did that. Next was, “You can’t do that, it’s technical information, and that has to be cleared the same as papers and presentations.” Okay, we filled out the forms and sent them up the management chain. We have to do this every time before we can change the website? Okay. Finally, the spambots and hackers found us, so we said screw this and took it down. Somewhere in there, our secretary went through months of training to learn how to code HTML. She thought web designer skills would be the fast track for a raise. They contracted out the official webpage support.
Next in the reading queue is “The Girls of Atomic City” by Denise Kiernan. I picked this up when I was in Oak Ridge earlier this month.
So what are you reading?
Apparently, Nancy Pelosi forgot that the Dems controlled both houses of Congress for four years, and the White House along with it for two of them. And when Pennsylvania Republican Tom Marino pointed that out in regards to the border crisis, Pelosi actually walked across the aisle to scold him.
A Pelosi staffer told us Nancy accepted Marino’s apology. But Marino’s people said no such apology was given, and Marino had this to say via “twiddah”:
“Rep. Pelosi called me an ‘insignificant person’ on the Floor of the House. I’ll ponder that for a while driving to Williamsport tonight. Of course I’ll be driving myself, with no staff or security. And I’m just a country lawyer who worked in a bakery until he was 30,” he said in three separate tweets.
Of course, Minority Leader Pelosi seems to be mostly polystyrene these days. So maybe going all “1856″ on her wouldn’t do much. Also, Brooks was a Democrat like Pelosi, the party of slavery and segregation, Dixiecrats and discrimination. So maybe Pelosi would be Brooks and Marino would be Sumner.