Category Archives: Humor

“Bandini!”

Those who know, know.  Part III.

Oh, and it’s NEVER Black Flag out there.  When I say never, I mean ALWAYS.  ‘Cept when it’s freezing-ass cold.

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Intolerance

Of gluten.  Here is a primer.

It’s all about dogmatic feelings of victimization.

H/T Keith M.

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Filed under anthropology, Around the web, Humor, Personal, Splodey, stupid

Those Who Know, Know… Part 2

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I almost spit out my coffee.  Carol is awesome.  Just awesome.  These days, she makes Shane look like Stuart Smalley.

H/T to Boston Maggie via Twiddah.

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Sometimes it IS the club’s fault….

It isn’t often that I can relate to a professional golfer.  Mostly because they usually don’t lay the sod over a 70-yard flop, or three-putt from ten feet.  That, and I am a lot more settled with the idea that I am not very good at golf.  I am not a club-thrower, either, but I do understand the urge.  As does every other golfer, including Judge Smails.

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Mr. McIlroy, unlike me, has a brand new custom-fit 3-iron waiting for him this morning, free of charge, that Nike started building before the ripples in the pond had spread.  Maybe that is another reason I don’t throw clubs.  I can’t afford it.

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Government Regulation of the Internet, Part II

A certainty once the Feds barge their way into screwing it up.  (An accurate, if not exact, depiction of the Kafka-esque experiences I had running a small business and trying to be verified as a Veteran-owned small business, incidentally.  A process not required of women or minority-owned small businesses.)   More gummint nincompoops without motive for profit, efficiency, or customer satisfaction, but WITH a political agenda, unfettered and unsupervised.     Because Verizon and Level 3 shouldn’t be trusted to run the internet efficiently.   But maybe we can have “electronic justice”.

H/T:  Brian P.

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Filed under Around the web, budget, Defense, engineering, history, Humor, Politics, stupid, Uncategorized

Lyin’ Brian Williams and Hillary’s Hokum

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NBC News anchor Brian Williams is being beaten about the cranium and shoulders quite a bit in the last few days.  He deserves every last lump and then some.   He is apparently taking a few days away.  Perhaps he hopes that, when he returns, people will have forgotten all about the fact that he is a despicable liar who cannot be trusted to tell the straight story about anything.  Juan Williams, formerly of NPR and hardly a solid Republican, believes this will be the end of either Williams, if he is fired, or NBC News if he is not.  He had a point.   NBC knew that Brian Williams’ account of his experience in Iraq was a fabrication, and had even warned him to knock off perpetuating the lie.  But, of course, he persisted.  And now he is due all the scorn that comes his way.  Reporting on Hurricane Katrina in 2005, Williams’ accounts of the horrors in his area of the French Quarter are also likely hogwash.  His dramatic description of a body floating by face down, and other lurid stories (contracting dysentery) never happened.  How do we know?  The area around his hotel never flooded, and nobody responsible for mass medical care can recall ANYONE having a reported case of dysentery (a sentinel disease) throughout Katrina.  NBC knew these facts, as well, and issued no retraction.

Williams and Jeffrey Lord (American Spectator), guests on Hannity (which I don’t normally listen to, but was waiting at a highway exit and had little else to do) on Friday, also thought that the increased focus on those who are found to be lying about their “combat experiences” will turn back toward presumptive Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.  At issue again is Hillary’s tall tale about landing “under sniper fire” in Bosnia, and the ceremony that was supposedly canceled because of the extreme danger.

Below is an image of Hillary covering the fire-swept ground on her way to the protection of a bunker.

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Here is a still image from the dramatic combat footage of the same incident.

Hillary Bosnia

For all the contempt for the US Military  expressed by the far-left, they sure seem to want to paint themselves into the tales of combat against our enemies.   The RNC should play a continuous loop of Sheryl Attkisson’s CBS report about Hillary’s fabrications between now and 2016.   (Yes, that Sheryl Attkisson.  The one who wanted the truth about Benghazi which cost her job forthwith.)  Hillary claims she was sleep-deprived, incidentally, and that was the reason she lied through her teeth.   Let’s hope when the next “three in the morning” call comes she is not as sleep-deprived then, and whoever is on the other end of the line will have better luck than Ambassador Stevens.   And that the results of that call will be reported a tad more honestly than was Benghazi, by people more honest than Brian Williams and Hillary Clinton.

But don’t bet on it.

Oh, and in my haste, I forgot the most important thing.  H/T to Delta Bravo.

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Filed under army, Around the web, Defense, girls, guns, helicopters, history, Humor, iraq, leadership, Politics, stolen valor, ukraine, Uncategorized, veterans, war, weapons

The Third Yeltsin Story

In this story Boris was not directly involved.

I was flying as flight escort and translator for an IL-76 carrying Yeltsins’s limos and security vehicles into NYC. Yeltsin was scheduled to speak at the UN that week.

It was late at night, we were headed into JFK. Cleared to fly the Carnousie VOR approach. The Carnousie VOR approach was a bit odd because the VOR is off the field and it has a visual segment.

These are things the Russians did not know.

As we fly over the water I’m thinking, ‘Hmm, we just fucked up. Shouldn’t we be turning left to follow the breakers?’

I look at the Captain’s Nav Display, it shows us on course.

I look up at the nav radios. They are tuned to the JFK VOR, which is NOT the NAVAID that the approach is based off of.

I’m trying to explain this to the crew: yes, you’re on course, but you’ve got the wrong navaid tuned. Just then all of Yeltsin’s secret service guys barge into the cockpit.

‘Piotr, где статуя свободы?’

Uh, where is the statue of freedom? Trying to translate…Crap. Just realized they were looking for the Statue of Liberty.

And it just passed off our right wing.

And I was looking up at the torch, that’s how low we were.

Actual radio transmission from JFK tower: Aeroflot, where are you going?

Captain: We are on course!

Phat: No you’re not! You’re flying the wrong approach with the wrong navaid tuned!

JFK tower: Aeroflot, do you have the airport in sight?

Captain: Airport in sight!

JFK tower: Aeroflot, you are cleared to land on ANY runway at John F. Kennedy International Airport.

Secret Service guys: So we just passed the Statue of Freedom?

Phat: Facepalm.

I called the tower after we landed, expecting to get a lot of grief.

The ATC controllers said, don’t worry about it, it’s a diplomatic flight and we can’t do anything about those.

Just as I was getting ready to hang up the tower controller said,, «we could hear you in the background and it sounded like you were having a worse day than us!»

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